First Dialogue Drafts

I’ve been using Freemind (a mind-mapping program) to map out my dialogue for the first scene of the game. (This is shown above)

The transcript turns into something like this:

Grave (Start)
1 Death
1.1 Hey! HEY!
1.1.1 huh….
Wake up!
What’s happening?
I was just passing by… noticed you’ve been dug up recently. I just thought you’d want to know… you’ve been here for a long time.
What do you mean … dug up?
Well … this is your grave.
Can you remember anything about your life?
Crap! I’m sorry! I wasn’t supposed to talk to you! This must be hard!

I just thought … well… it seems whoever dug you up took your skull.. and what I learnt from mom is that if that happens to a spirit put to rest, they become agitated and awaken on their own..

… … it sounds spooky but most spirits that it happens to, are really sad.. see its hard to remember what happened to you before you … y’know … died.
So… If I’m dead, how come you can talk to me?
It’s pretty easy to talk to spirits in my family, but anyone can if they try hard enough….
It’s cold in here ….
Oh! you can come out! sorry, I forgot to tell you .. you just need to push, like you’re pushing out a .. a …. y’know…
Got it..

*Baby D. looks away abashedly.*
Why did you wake me up then?
I sorry, I just thought you would be sad when you woke up y’know… you’re in an unmarked grave. You wouldn’t even know your own name. I didn’t mean to upset you!
So … what do I do now?
… well, I guess you can wander? no one can see you or hear you – that’s a plus! You can just eternally wander around by yourself! It doesn’t sound to bad!
No, really! Believe me! The only people that can see me are my mom and my brothers! So, it’s be the same for me!
That sounds dull.
!!! *sweats nervously* I can come talk to you!
No. I want to go back to being properly dead.
… … o-okay. follow me.
Who are you?
Oh! um… my name is Baby D… I’m new to the Company.

What sort of name is ” Baby D.”?
Oh! It’s a nickname… given to me by my brothers, our mother is the big D… I guess I take after her? Also I’m in my 2nd year of med., so it also stands for Baby Doctor?
…I think its nice…
What does the D. stand for?
Oh! er…Death? It sounds more ominous than it actually is..!
What’s happening?! ( go back to 1st question)

… the Company?
Oh, its my family business, its been going for a long time. My mother runs it now! I’m just starting out running errands etc. It can be pretty dangerous. (back to sibling_question)


Reading this is much more confusing than looking at the diagram, but you get my general idea. I think I will have to cut down on the dialogue a bit, especially later in the game.




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